But she'd been listening to music through Adam's ears long enough to understand and internalize just how much he wouldn't approve. Do you know what I mean? Last weekend, I gave a talk at Chautauqua in upstate New York. Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia. You don't go over to an adolescent boy's house ever. All merchandise must be unworn, unwashed, and in otherwise perfect condition to be considered for return. Women are expected to be subordinate. Her birth parents were upper middle class, and they wanted to use Shamyla to marry into a higher class. Prior to its release, the video caused controversy regarding its political, racial and religious implications, leading Madonna to release a statement explaining its concept: I feel lucky to be an American citizen for many reasons – one of which is the right to express myself freely, especially in my work. Are you constantly like-- do your friends have a joke, where, like, oh, not another Little Women reference? Um, you just need to wait. It's beyond the power of any prayer, or word, or song, or praise. Is that a thing that you got right about parenting, or is that a thing that you just did for yourself? And be like, yo, so what do you think about this? 4:24 PREVIEW I'm So Stupid. You're off the rez like Teddy was at Chappaquiddick. Due to the volatile state of the world and out of sensitivity and respect to the armed forces, who I support and pray for, I do not want to risk offending anyone who might misinterpret the meaning of this video. We went a lot. Again, thisamericanlife.org. And I was like, yeah, when the tide goes out, you just have to go with it. He's like, oh, that's hot trash. She specifically works with people who suffer from trauma because she understands it so well herself. But sometimes she still returns to Little Women. Rapsody is an American rapper who has become a force to reckon with in the rap game. Adam didn't feel the song was representative of how he imagined Vivian as an artist. They read a new part of the Bible, part of the Torah some days. Like when she was into Percy Jackson, he'd weave in the Greek gods. Recently Aired View archive. But she told me, maybe five years ago, before any of these big national developments, that she went in one day and she asked to talk to the owner. For years, they fought over this. It's beyond the power of language to capture it. He sent me with a whole list. (RAPPING) Six legs, eight legs, fly and crawl. I just knew what that meant. And I remember at some point, my biological father taking me aside very kindly and saying, we're your real family. In other words, the literal words of the Bible, the literal words of the prayers aren't as important as that pledge-- a pledge to act a certain way in the world. "Mrs. March and Jo were deep in their own affairs when a sound from Meg made them look up to see her staring at her note.". This gave Shamyla the idea to sneak into her bathroom with a fountain pen and paper and write. Today's show, The Weight of Words, stories about the words that people turn to for comfort or strength. Trap is a subgenre of hip hop music that originated in the Southern United States during the early 1990s. You can hear that version and all those stories at risk-show.com. They loved you like the way people love slippers, like an old used pair of slippers. She was like, Papa, I'm just not that into this right now. And he wanted his daughter, Vivian, to love music the way he loved music, exactly the way he loved music. And I was like, read this. This is at Sentry Foods at 71st and Lisbon. And we had this hour and a half long drive and somehow we got onto how he doesn't believe that every word of the Bible is literally true, which, if you're a Methodist, that's no big deal. Act One, Go to the Mattresses. But her main thing was reading. And so Shamyla's family came up with a solution, one that's not unusual in Pakistan. One time, I was playing him a song from Hamilton, where someone was rapping really fast. That was the worst one, she says. In the 90s two rap directions were established: Concious rap, which unpacked the history of America and the civil rights movement also dealing with social injustices and gangsta rap by bands such as N.W.A (including Ice Cube, Eazy E, Dr Dre), who painted an unattractive picture by rapping about the reality of life in the ghettos, celebrating the lawless life of crime. A couple of years when she was basically held in captivity in Pakistan. I'm open like a pharmacy. Even the Kaddish, which you say over and over during services. I felt like I lived with them sometimes. It happened the staffer who drove me to the airport was a retired Methodist preacher, an associate pastor at one of the churches in Chautauqua, named John Jackson. You're, like, six, so this means nothing to you, but Dres from Black Sheep said that you're dope. She was barely allowed to eat. 1. And the third topic was so here's what you're going to do when you get married. So I remember coming back from there, and Viv was tired. I'm Ira Glass. How will I get on a train? 619. It goes on and on. And at first, it was really fun. Recently, Vivian has been getting more into singing. She was raised in suburban Maryland. Something along those lines, like I'm not into you writing me these rap songs right now. It made me want to maybe want to do more and see where we could take this. What's it telling me? It wasn't truly indicative of her skills as an MC because it was more focused on dropping Massachusetts-centric jokes. / Should I lose some weight? Back in 1989, like lots of other 11-year-olds, she also loved Punky Brewster and Paula Abdul. They never loved you. At this rate, she'd become promiscuous any day now. We were almost out of the store when all of a sudden, a man walked up to my sister. It'd just be a week long, and she'd get to know her cousins, who were actually her brothers. If you haven't read Little Women, it's basically about four sisters, the March sisters. Like--, At the risk of getting on my soapbox and with the full understanding this is never going to make it actually into this piece. The one I remember specifically, "You people need to discipline your children.". And I referred her to the chapter of Meg trying to discipline her twins. Let's go explore! "American Life" is a song by American singer-songwriter Madonna. That is what they have you say when your mom dies. I remember thinking, like, I still like big hair. Did this change your expectations for what this could be? So she gave in. And my mom said, I'm not going to give her back. In other words, chapter 30 when she turned 30, chapter 31 when she turned 31. Unbeknownst to her, her US parents are trying to find out where she is. In the book, there are events like this that the March sisters go to. We flipped the chorus from 9 millimeter goes bang, and it was like, (RAPPING) wadadadang, wadadadang, 'ey, listen, 'cause I'm nine, and I kick enough slang. I was raised in a strict religion, and my life was supposed to be about marriage and motherhood. She wasn't just physically abused. American Life (Radio Edit Without Rap) Lyrics: Do I have to change my name? And we're your blood, and that's how we love you. He still has a lot of connections. Karmically, I'm untouchable, highly combustible. And then run into where he keeps his records, and I'm like, oh gosh. Shamyla always loved books. And he went on with this at such length that at some point, I realized, oh, switching software was not a piece of friendly financial advice. And so my dad, and my stepmom, and I were at one of the daily services that observant Jews go to every day in Baltimore where I grew up. By now, it's probably thousands. Artists who Adam admired wanted to record with her. So yeah, you probably have a point there, I mean, at least in the sense of this being something that was purely fun, and exciting, and didn't feel heavy in any way. And I played it, and he just, like, half listened. Even if I fantasized about running away to another city and seeing other relatives, I was like, how will I do it? And I was like, I don't like that. October 2, 2012 Reviews \ See, that grocery store, the Sentry store at the corner of 71st and Lisbon, it's still her grocery store. He stomped his foot at her to scare her. For a second, I thought he might hit her or push her. Shamyla told a version of this story herself on the storytelling podcast Risk, which tapes for a live audience. I just have to keep trying. Like, I would join in. What's your answer? They thought, she's too Americanized. Adam likes '80s and '90s hip hop perhaps more than me, which is saying a lot. And so it was nice going back. Back on the scene, crispy and clean. I was really thinking about how to create my life with someone else and what that would look like. They couldn't see me, but I could see them. And what I didn't realize at the time was that they had taken me there on purpose because it was way out in the country where no one could find me. I am, too. But when you find it with your own kid, it's magical. His friend Adam is Adam Mansbach, a writer. All these books had come from Singapore, and there was Little Women. I felt like I lived in the attic, and I could go downstairs and see them. I told my son this story last week. Vivian recorded under the moniker the Jazz Wolf, a name that she came up with. / Should I lose some weight? These are your wifely duties, including your sexual obligations to your husband. The members of her family here in the States confirmed that this is what her birth parents are like. And it's like what I was saying to John-- what does God care if we love him? What do you guys remember? Meditation, Nature and American Rap: Life in Isolation With Dustin Martin The 28-year-old footballer is one of the AFL’s biggest stars. Her birth father is so confident that Shamyla is one of them now, that she'll obediently return to Pakistan, he doesn't question letting her go. Adam was stepping up Vivian's game and had sent the Jazz Wolf de facto demo to just about every music industry contact he had. And they confiscated her cassettes and her books. Vivian's dissatisfaction with how Adam was steering her rap career goes back long before this night-- back many car rides, in fact. 725. And proud father that he is, he wanted more people to know. Today in our show, the sometimes very old words that we turn to for comfort in moments of adversity and at other times, they can be very random. When she was into Harry Potter, he worked that in. So they have no legal claim to their daughter. Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard. Nah, are you kidding me? Like, I was, like, the servant or something, watching. This is really unique. The song reached No. Maybe this year, finally, someone's going to fall in love with me. She didn't recognize her little brothers. They never do a new episode. We got a beat from Dug Infinite, an illustrious producer who worked with Common and all kinds of people. The second topic was your adopted family never really loved you. I'm surprised that it is. If my train goes off the track, pick it up! She would memorize it, and she would be very much in the pocket and just not missing a beat. They thought she needed to be thin to get married, so they locked the fridge. Every day, the same words, same songs in the same order, stretching back hundreds of years. And I just want to say yes, the numbers add up the same, no matter what software you use. I climbed up in the plane. Practical. So I think it's very funny when nowadays, my friends are like, well, you were so meek. But aside from the big things I didn't anticipate, I want to leave you with what might be the smallest. 2003 Preview SONG TIME American Life. In Adam's case, though, it worked. That's how my mom and I both remember it. If you do what God wants, and you try to be good, you try to treat others right, what difference does it make if you love God? Her real world, of course, was much darker. Will it get me far? And John said that as he gets older, the literal words of the Bible seem less important to him than the big picture. "'Mercy on me. John Legend , Estelle's mentor, came up with the idea that she write a song about meeting an American man. The people who put this show together today include Elna Baker, Emanuele Berry, Ben Calhoun, Zoe Chace, Dana Chivvis, Whitney Dangerfield, Neil Drumming, Damien Grave, Jessica Lussenhop, Stowe Nelson, Catherine Raimondo, Ben Phelan, Tracy [INAUDIBLE], Alissa Shipp, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Svetala, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Updike. Yeah. And I didn't. Just flipping through radio stations in the car and him turning on a radio station, and I was like, oh, yeah, this one. And I was like, oh my god. They were incredibly traditional, even for Pakistan, which is already very patriarchal. And I remember Jo had a temper in the book, and I thought, I have a temper, too. When everything was happening in our family also, it was a way for me to connect with Papa. That's just a facade. Let's get it, world, come one, come all! 3. I was like, OK, so the way out is marriage. It was the book of my life. No one does that anymore. And how do you think that's going to relate to this year? Fuck it Ah, fuck it Ah, fuck it Ah, fuck it Ah, fuck it, uh-huh [Chorus] This is, a Madonna exclusive This is, the American life, fuck it [Verse 4: Madonna Rap] I'm drinking a Soy latte I get a double shoté It goes right through my body And you know I'm satisfied I drive my Mini Cooper And I'm feeling super-dooper Yo they tell I'm a trooper So is Wu Tang the future? We're not listening to that. I really thought that eventually, I'm going to become that person. And I started looking at the prayer book on the side of the page with the English translation of the prayers, which I hadn't done in years. I mean, [LAUGHS] aren't the two synonymous really, Neil? / I tried to be a boy / I tried to be a girl / I tried to be a mess / I She's not a ball. The second worst one was with a golf club. He's seven, the same age I was when this happened. And then afterward, Papa would be like, you want to hear something good? If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. I am pro peace. But weirdly, even without that, without believing any of the words, I do find it's a comfort to say the prayer. That because she looks the way she looks, and I look the way I look, it was an invisible trap door always under us-- a question about whether we belonged as much as others, which itself was a statement that we hadn't totally belonged in the first place. And I'm surprised how it is. It's a new thing-- so new, in fact, that all I can say definitively about the experience so far is that I am terrified every single day about what's coming. So I never played her anything I wasn't willing to listen to 20 times a day. Ben Calhoun is one of the producers of our show. Shamyla told her what was happening. 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